Silent Nights
by Sheeba Scarlet
Summary: Kim was a close friend of Gon and Killua. However, she was closer to Killua. One day, she was killed, making Killua lose someone important in his life. Upon coming back to his house, his father assigned him to do a job. Surprisingly, his supposed to be killed target bears a striking resemblance to Kim. What will happen next? Read to find out!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter. It belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi.**

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**Prologue**

It was dark. The purple-bluish color painted on the sky, with million of stars decorating it. Cold breeze blew softly from any directions. The cars looked so tiny like a group of ants moving on the road, with its light illuminated the dark night.

A boy stood on the top of building in Yorknew City, watching silently to the view in front of him. Both his hands were tucked into his pocket. His face seemed toneless, but many emotions raged inside him. Anger? Despair? Sadness? He didn't even know.

The cold breeze blew softly towards him, brushing his silver hair, leaving a few strands of his hair covering his face. Although it was a cold night that could probably drilled the chill down to the spine, he felt nothing. Despite the fact that he only wore a black turtleneck shirt with the sleeves folded to his elbow, and a light purple jeans. His blue eyes still attached to the view before him, yet he did not seem to pay attention to it. His mind flew somewhere high. High enough that no one was able to know what is on his mind.

"Gone…" he whispered to himself. There was sadness and despair in his voice, yet his expression was still the same: toneless. His mind was still somewhere away. He recalled his memory, from the very beginning it all happened until what happened recently.

He found himself smirked when thinking about it.

"What a dumb person I am," he muttered to himself. The cold breeze still brushed his hair and face. He closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply, felt the cold breeze running down to his lungs, then exhaled. Slowly he opened his eyes again.

Suddenly he heard a sound of footsteps, followed by the door swung open behind him. A boy with a black hair jutting upwards stood there while holding the door knob.

"Killua?" the boy called his name.

He looked back to see his friend with a surprised and questioned look. "Hm?" he replied.

"What are you doing up here?"

Killua shrugged and gave him a little smile. "Just looking for a fresh air."

Gon still looked at him for a few seconds before he burst with laughter. "Well, you better get back inside. It's freaking cold out here!"

He did not seem to seem to be bothered by the weather, but he nodded to his friend. "Yeah." He took a glance at the busy street for the last time. They were still the same. Of course it was. How long did he think he had leave his eyes on it?

_See ya_, he smiled to himself. Killua then walked towards Gon who waited for him near the door.

"We're all looking for you! I thought you're leaving without telling us first," the black-haired boy said when he reached him.

"Of course not," Killua replied slowly.

"Good to hear that. Anyway, don't you feel cold?"

Killua shook his head slowly. "Not really."

Gon's eyes widened and he looked surprised. "You've been here long enough! I can't even stand being here for a mere minute. What are you?"

The former assassin shrugged and gave him a little smirk. "I don't know. A Zoldyck?"

The two boys then laughed together while walking trough the door, back inside the building. As Killua went inside, he did not notice someone who was standing at the street silently, looking back to where he was.

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**A/N: **Sorry for made it very short and clueless. You'll understand what it's all about on the other chapters. I hope you'd like to keep up with the story :)


	2. Back Home

**Chapter 1**

**Back Home**

On the top of Kukuroo Mountain, a silver-haired boy was standing in front of a very big gate which had a name "The Testing Gate". When he looked at it, he suddenly felt nostalgic. Although he never missed those who lived inside it, nor even missed living inside it. He never had any intention on coming back, but he did not know what was driving him to be here again. He just felt it was the right place for him now.

Zebro, the gatekeeper, smiled and welcomed him warmly. As a reply, Killua nodded slowly to him without saying a word. He was not in the mood for being nice to everyone. He walked towards the gate and prepared to open it. When he reached the gate, he extended his hands to push it. A loud noise was heard when he opened it. It was no surprise since the gate itself weigh 2 tons for the smallest one, and twice heavier for the following gates.

Killua managed to open up to the fourth out of seven gates. He thought to himself that he must have gotten stronger since he learned Nen. The last time he opened the gate, he was only able to open up to the third gate. It was right after the Hunter Exam. Zebro approached him from behind and clapped his hands.

"I'm impressed, Killua-sama. Your ability must have developed since your last visit," he said and smiled to him kindly.

The silver-haired boy turned to him, shrugged and replied, "Yeah, I learned Nen."

Zebro still smiled at him. "Very well then. I shall open the other gates for you, Killua-sama."

After he opened all the gates, Killua proceeded towards the mountain. He walked slowly while observing everything around him. As usual, the air was crisp and the atmosphere was intimidating. It all brought back memories to him. He remembered when he was still a kid, he used to play hide and seek around here with Alluka. He also remembered his hard trainings that caused him to be like this now.

He then walked upon another butler, Canary. She smiled cheerfully and greeted him. "Welcome home, Killua-sama."

Killua nodded slowly while walking towards her. When he reached her, he stopped for a while and whispered something that surprised her. "I lost… a friend."

He walked again, leaving Canary who gasped and looked at him in disbelief. "W- what happen to Gon?"

Without looked back, he answered shortly, "It's not Gon."

Canary opened her mouth to ask him again, but instead of asking, she closed it again. She was still looking at her master who was walking slowly with his hands tucked into the pocket. Many questions suddenly popped into her mind. _Who is this friend Killua-sama was talking about? What happened to him/her? _But then, she buried all her un-answered question in her mind and turned around, back to her duties.

As Killua reached the foreground of the mansion, her mother was seen standing alongside Kalluto. She looked obviously happy and smiled all the time. Kikyo extended her hand to try to hug him, but when she saw her son's deadly look on his face, she put her hands down again.

"Welcome home honey," she greeted him warmly with a smile on her face. "I know this day would come. I'm so happy. You finally realize that you belong here. Oh, I'm so proud of you…"

Killua looked at his mother, who seemed about to cry, with a straight face. He rolled his eyes, annoyed by her overreaction. Kalluto remained silent and looked at his older brother with a straight face. Killua turned his head to look back at him quickly, before walked forward, leaving both of them behind.

As he got inside the mansion, he walked upon a long and dark corridor. The atmosphere was as intimidating as it was on the outside. The lights were dim inside, making it looked more intimidating. Plus, the dark stone walls made the corridor very dark. When he finally reached his room, he opened door and stepped inside.

It was in the same condition as when he left. It had been roughly a year since he left home, but during that time, not even once he regretted his actions, even until now. Slowly, he stepped towards his bed and sat on it. He placed his elbow on his knees and rested his forehead on his palm. It all suddenly came back to him, the memories and feeling. He closed his eyes, trying to buried it all, but failed. He remembered his conversation last night with Gon.

:: ::

"_I want to go home." _

_Gon looked very surprised at his friend's statement. His eyes widened, and his eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "But Killua… Why?" _

_His friend shrugged and replied, "I don't know. I feel like it's the only right place for me now." _

_The black-haired boy still looked at him with his rounded, brown eyes. "I thought you never had any intention on coming back there." _

"_Yeah, I know." _

"_So why?" Gon asked in confusion. He had no idea why his best friend became like this all of a sudden. Maybe it had something to do with Kim's death. _

_Killua did not answer his question. Instead, he turned his head, looking at the window beside them. His gaze seemed so far. Gon cannot read what was on his mind. His face looked kind of… sad and stress. _

"_Killua, answer me." _

"_I need time Gon," he replied sharply while turning his head to him. His voice hardened and sounded irritated. His blue eyes were looking at him sharply. Gon was totally understand about his lost, more precisely, their lost. He knew that Killua was very close to Kim, and that he became desperate after her death, because he lost someone important in his life. Although he did not like the idea of Killua coming back to his house, he respected his decision. He only wanted his friend to be happy again and moved on with his life. _

_It was a hard decision to let Killua go, but he had to do it for the sake of his friend. "Yeah… Maybe you're right. I know this is a hard time, but we have to pass it and move on with our life. I hope you'll get through this after you have time for yourself," Gon said warmly to him and smiled. _

_The silver-haired boy nodded slowly and gave him a small smile. "I hope so. Thanks for understanding." _

_He grinned widely, showing off his white teeth. Killua cannot help but laughed when he saw him. He then thought, that he might miss that grin and childish look on his friend's face when he was away. _

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**A/N: **Sorry, I'm not really good at describing situation and such, so yeah... Anyway, hope you enjoy it :)


	3. True Assassin

**Chapter 2**

**True Assassin**

Knock. Knock.

Killua looked up when he heard someone knocked the door.

"I'm coming in," a hoarse voice was heard from the outside. He instantly recognized it.

The door opened by an old man with a silver hair which resembled his. He stood in front of him with hands kept behind his back. He looked at him without showing any emotions on his face. Killua looked back while observing his grandfather. His appearance was still the same. Nothing changed. He still wore this sign on his neck which had something that always caught his attention written on it; "A kill a day."

The old man finally broke the ice. "So, it's true. You really are back, Kil."

Killua looked down at his shoes, feeling uneasy. "Yeah," he replied slowly.

"Mind to explain to me why?"

He jerked up after hearing that. His blue eyes widened in shock. This was what he was afraid of. He already thought that maybe his family would questioned his sudden return, but he could not answer it if that happen. Unsure of what to say, he remained silent.

"No answer?" Zeno asked with an arched eyebrow. There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, yet his expression did not change. His grandson still remained silent. He doubt that he will answer his question. _Must be something personal._

"Well, I'm not going to force you to answer it, but you better prepare a honest answer later," he continued, making Killua startled and suddenly looked up. "Silva wants to see you."

After he heard that, Killua's anxiety grew. This was his another concern. Whenever he came back to his house, his father will always asked to see him. When they met, he will ask him many question regarding the job he took or something close to it. Now in this case, he was one hundred percent sure that his father will ask him why he came back here all of a sudden, and to make matters worse, he did not know how to answer it.

"Yes," the boy replied as he stood up from his bed and walked towards the door.

When he walked past him, Zeno turned to him and said, "It's good to have you back."

Killua stopped for a while and mouthed, "Yeah," before walked again, leaving his grandfather in his room. As he got outside, he was back in the dark corridor. He walked slowly while thinking about his reason of came back here. If he could be honest, it was easy actually, but he cannot do that since it was his personal problems. His mind was stuck.

He kept thinking until he walked upon a big door which was a way to his father's room.

_Here we go, _he thought to himself and sighed before knocked the door. He could hear his father's voice replied from inside the room. He opened the heavy door and stepped inside. The room was dark and gloomy. All he could see was his father, who sat on a large couch. Killua walked forward until he approached him.

"Sit down, Kil," Silva instructed his son to sat on the small chair in front of him. Killua did as he said and sit on it.

"Tell me, Kil," his father started. "What happen to your friends?"

"I left them."

"Why?"

The former assassin did not reply directly. He looked down at his shoes, avoiding his father's sharp eyes. He felt uneasy. After a while, he opened his mouth to reply. "I belong here. I_ am _an assassin."

Silva laughed and then clapped his hands. He extended his hand to call Killua. "Come here, son." He patted on the couch, telling him to sit next to him. Killua came closer and sit there.

"Well done. I am proud of you. You really _are _my son," said Silva, patting his son's shoulder with pride and satisfaction.

Killua did not budge. He remained silent and his eyes still looked down. Without waiting for an answer, Silva continued, "You'll get back to work as soon as possible, so prepare yourself."

"Yes," he nodded slowly.

"Good. You can go now."

The boy stood from the chair and headed to the big door. Inside his mind, he wondered if his father knew it was just a mere bluff. But when he saw his reaction, he doubt it. As he stepped outside of the room, he met his oldest brother, Illumi. He was standing across the door. His back leaned on the corridor's wall and his arms were folded across his chest. He seemed waiting for him all this time.

"Long time no see, Kil," he greeted in a monotone voice, as usual. He stood upright and approached his younger brother. Killua did not move when his brother looked at him with his dark, soulless eyes.

"Did you betrayed your friend?"

"No, but I did leave them. They respected my choice."

Illumi still looked at him with his toneless face. Killua was unable to read what was on his mind. Actually, he _never _know what was he thinking, and he was sure he could never know. _No one_ could.

"That's good," Illumi finally spoke up. "You finally understand what you're supposed to be. You're an assassin. You don't need any friends."

Without replying, the younger brother walked past him with his face looked down and his hands tucked into the pocket. Illumi watched silently as his brother's silhouette slowly gone from his sight. Killua walked back to his room to find Milluki stood in front of his room's door.

_God, he's as fat as ever. He looks more like a pig. _

"What do you want?" Killua asked with a bored tone. The older brother seemed did not notice his presence and was taken aback.

"Oh, so you're really back Kil. Where are your friends? Did you leave them? Oh, they must be sad," Milluki teased him then laughed. However, it did not affect Killua. He just stared at him blankly. Seeing this, Milluki stopped laughing.

"I asked you, what do you want?" Killua asked again. His voice and face were cold. Milluki's sweat dropped on his face.

_Damn it, why do I have to be afraid of him? He's younger than me!_

"You're scared of me?"

Killua's voice interrupted his thought. He tried to open his mouth to answer, but was preceded by Killua immediately.

"I have no business with you. Out of my way."

"You brat!" Milluki screamed, feeling offended, and tried to land a punch on his brother's face. But Killua calmly stepped aside to dodge it. With Milluki moved from his previous position in front of the door, he was now able to reached it.

"Thank you for listening, pig," said the silver-haired boy with a devilish smile before he opened the door and stepped inside.

From inside his room, he could hear his brother sreamed and cursed, "Damn it! That little brat!" He laughed with satisfaction and muttered to himself, "Stupid."

He felt happy after teasing Milluki like the old days, but it did not last long. As he threw his body on the bed, those emotions came back. He placed his arms under his head and stared blankly at the ceiling. His mind flew again. All those flashbacks came back to his mind. Now, he was thinking about _her_. His eyebrows arched when he saw her face on his mind. Her hair was light brown and straight with bangs framed her face, her skin was very white. What he remembered the most about her was her eyes. She had a beautiful, big, blue eyes, which resembled the color of the sea. It was similar to his own eyes.

_Why did you have to go so fast? _

His mind went deeper and deeper. He recalled when she was still there, they were always spending time together. They used to talked for hours without feeling bored or out of topic. Sometimes with Gon too. He recalled that he used to call her Kimmy to tease her, but then he was getting used to it and called her by that name everyday. Although it often made her angry.

He replayed their conversation inside his mind.

:: ::

"_Why do you have to call me Kimmy?" Kim asked when they were walking together at the street that morning. _

"_Your name only has one vowel, so it can only be pronounced Kim. But if I add another letter, it's true that it still has one vowel but it would be pronounced like it has two. So if I call you, it would be 'Kimmy' not 'Kim'. Hence, it's much more comfortable to say," the boy beside her explained fluently, like he already practiced all night just to answer that question. _

"_So you're changing my name just to make yourself comfortable?" _

"_Exactly," Killua smiled with satisfaction. _

_Kim put her hands on her hips and put up unsatisfied face. She started to protest, "Kim is my name. You have no right to just change it right away. If you ever call me Kimmy again, do not expect me to answer." _

"_I don't think so," he smiled mysteriously to her. And he was right. After that conversation, Kim always answered whenever he called her Kimmy._

:: ::

He was snapped back to reality. The deeper his mind went, the more he realized how much he missed her. He felt a stabbed on his chest when he realized that Kim was not beside him anymore.

_This is reality. Put yourself together. _

And then he remembered that bitter memory. The day when he learned that losing the people he cared about was the worst feeling in the world.

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**A/N: **Yeah... so this is the second chapter. What do you think about it? Is it good or bad? Review please! That way I'll be able to know what's my mistake or just simply your thoughts about this chapter :D

By the way, on the next chapter Kim's death will be revealed, and... I haven't think about it before actually... her death is still a mystery for all of us (including me). LOL. I will decide it later. I need time for that. Pardon my english, I'm not a native speaker :)


	4. When the Nightmare Starts

**Chapter 3**

**When the Nightmare Starts**

_It was rather a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly above the green field where many colorful flowers bloomed and trees grew. Butterflies were seen flying atop of the flowers, making the view looked more beautiful. Soft breeze blew softly from any direction, falling a few leaves from its tree. A boy and a girl lied side by side under a big tree which covered them from the warm sunlight. The boy had his hands under his head, while the girl had them rested on her stomach. They were watching silently at the beautiful, blue sky, a group of birds which flew in a formation._

"_It's a lovely day, isn't it?" the girl finally spoke up, without turning her head._

_The boy beside her glance at her for a moment, and turned his gaze back to the sky. "Yeah, it is."_

"_Say, Killua," the girl stopped before continuing to wait for his reaction. When Killua turned his head at her, she continued. "I'd like if we stay this way forever. You know, being best friends. What do you say?"_

_Killua blinked at her. He liked being her best friend. She was a great friend, always brought smile on his face. Even laughter. But that idea of hers sounded wrong to him. Finally, he replied shortly. "No."_

_A slight surprise was seen on her face. She was definitely not wanting to hear those two letters coming out from her best friend's mouth. Now, it was her turn to turned her head to him. "Why?" she asked, with a hint of disappointment heard in her voice._

Because I don't wanna be just best friends_, he thought to himself. But instead, he answered, "Because people don't live forever."_

_A slight relieve was seen when she heard Killua's answer. For a moment, she thought that Killua, her current only best friend aside from Gon, would leave her. She had a bitter past about losing a friend she'd really care about, and was not definitely wanting to repeat that again. She let out a small sigh before answering. "You're right. Then, let's be best friend while we still can."_

_Killua watched as Kim smiled brightly at him after saying those words. He cannot help but smiled too. That smile of hers always successfully made himself felt warmth that he never felt before he met her. It was also successfully made him smiled back at most of the times. "Sure. Sounds great."_

_Kim turned her head and her gaze was back to the blue sky again. "You know what? Something's about you have been bugged me ever since the first time I saw you."_

"_And what is it?"_

"_Does all of your family members have those same hair color of yours?" she asked innocently in a tone full of curiosity and pointed at Killua's silver, messy hair._

_Killua blinked and laughed as if it were a joke. "Are you serious? Is that even worth asking?"_

_Kim shrugged. "Just curious."_

"_Well, I have two answers. One, they doesn't. The only family members who own the same hair color as mine are my grandfather and my father. Two, I didn't know you could ask that kind of childish question. From the first time I saw you, I thought you were a mature individual, not a person who would ask such stupid question."_

_The brunette pouted at him. "I can ask whatever I want. Don't judge me like that," she defended herself._

"_I'm not judging you. I'm just complementing," Killua gave an innocent smile._

_Kim extended her hand to poke him at the shoulder. But before she could reach him, Killua already grabbed her hand softly to stop her. "Stop right there, miss. As I said before, I'm just complementing. I'm not trying to offend you here."_

_She took off her hand out of his grip, quickly. "Fine, fine. Compliment all you want. I won't budge," Kim said in a pissed tone, indicating that she gave up of their little argument._

_Seeing her reaction, Killua smiled in satisfaction as if he'd won a grandprize of the lottery. Teasing Kim was always fun to him. She was easy to pissed off, yet short tempered. Just see, after this argument, he knew that she will definitely start a conversation first and change the subject._

_Shortly after that, it all became true._

"_Killua, I'm thirsty," Kim pointed out. The boy smirked as he heard that and let out a chuckle._

"_What's so funny?" Kim asked innocently._

"_Nothing." Killua got up quickly from the ground. He still wore an amused expression on his face. Kim raised her eyebrows and gave him a questioning look._

"_Oh, come on. It's nothing!" said Killua, trying to sound reassuringly. "Let's just buy a drink, shall we?"_

_The girl shrugged and got up too. As they walked across the field to the city, they started talking and laughing again, like nothing happened before. Everything seemed so perfect for them. They thought that moment of happiness, their friendship and their togetherness would last a little longer. But too bad, reality said otherwise._

_Later that day…_

_The three were sitting together on a rounded table in Gon and Killua's hotel room, playing cards. All of them looked very serious and so into the game, except Killua. Unlike the others, he was more relaxed but confident in his victory. While the others sat upright on their chairs and looking at their cards seriously, Killua laid his back on the chair, crossed his leg and looked lazily into his cards. They were playing for 2 hours straight. Killua had claim 5 victories, Gon claimed 2 victories, while Kim had claim 3 victories. Both Gon and Kim were very determined to win, and they won't let Killua had his sixth victory. But 5 minutes later, Killua won the round._

"_I bet you were cheating," Kim accused him after they finished playing. Gon and Kim decided they won't play again since it will only gave Killua another victory. They were now still sitting on the same table, but drinking hot chocolate instead. They assume it was the best choice since the day was getting dark and the air was getting colder._

"_Hm? No, I wasn't," replied Killua innocently. He took a sip of the hot chocolate._

"_Oh, I know you were. I believe you set up the cards when you shuffled it, so you drew out the best cards." Kim gave the I'm-not-as-stupid-as-you-think-I-am look to him._

"_Really? I didn't notice that," said Gon in a surprised tone. "But all this time whenever we play cards, he always had the most winnings."_

"_Gon! He's been tricking you all this time yet you didn't notice at all?" exclaimed Kim in surprise._

_Gon looked slightly embarrassed. "Um… No… I don't think I did…"_

_She eyed Gon, hoping to find any clue that he was joking, but all she could see was pure honest face. She knew that Enhancers were most likely simple-minded, but to be tricked all this time and didn't notice at all was more than simple-minded. It was stupid. But she won't say that to him. That was too rude, and she did not want to hurt her best friend's feelings._

_Finally, Kim sighed slowly. She felt sorry for him. "Sorry, Gon, but I think he did trick you all this time."_

"_Oh yeah? And you have any evidence?" Killua suddenly interrupt._

"_It was all clear in the number of your winnings. All this time," she replied in a matter-of-fact tone and gave him a sharp look._

_Killua put his mug on the table, leaned on the chair and folded his arms across his chest. "That's not a strong evidence. It doesn't proof anything. It could turn out that maybe I was just lucky."_

"_I don't believe that," Kim retorted and narrowed her eyes. She folded her arms across her chest too. There was no way that he could win the game nomerous time because of lucky. "That would be impossible."_

"_Then let's just say that I'm an expert." The silver haired boy grinned at both of his friends. Kim was about to reply when suddenly the door swung open. A tall young man with black hair and wearing sunglasses was seen entering the room._

"_Leorio!" Gon exclaimed and smiled as he approached them._

"_Hey, Gon. And you too Killua," Leorio greeted the boys. His eyes suddenly spotted Kim who were sitting with them. "Ooh, hello Kim." His tone was flirtatious as he mentioned her name. He smiled at her and was unaware of Killua who gave him a sharp look._

_Kim rolled her eyes and answered dryly. "Hi, Leorio." She turned away to look out of the window instead to avoid looking at Leorio. She never like Leorio. Whenever they meet, he always talk to her in a flirty tone and he always looked at her in a creepy way. His presence always made her uneasy._

"_It's getting dark. I've got to go." The brunette stood up from her chair quickly, gathered her things and stuffed them all in her bag. She cannot stand being in the same room with that guy._

_Killua realized that Kim was feeling uneasy of Leorio's presence. She once talked to him about it, even asked him to tell Leorio to stop it. But it was pointless, even though he already warned that man._

"_You want me to walk you home?" the words suddenly came out of his mouth, uncontrolled. It brought his three friends to looked at him in an odd look. He was never the type of person who would walk someone to their house, and they knew that. He didn't know what was driving him, but he was sure it was something he never felt before. Unsure of why, he felt uneasy. Uneasy with the thought of letting Kim go all by herself._

_Kim blinked her eyes, surprised by his sudden offering. "No, thanks. I can walk by myself. And since when did you do that?"_

_He did not reply. He just stared at Kim who was now talking to Gon, telling him that she will be back tomorrow. Gon nodded happily and waved at her. She even say goodbye to Killua, but was unnoticed by him as he was too occupied with his own mind. As he watched Kim went out of the room, strangely, he felt a sense of loss. He felt that letting her out of the door was the biggest mistake he ever done. And why is that? He had no idea._

"_Killua, are you okay?"_

_Gon's voice had successfully pierced his thought. He realized that he was looking at the now closed door for too long. He replied slowly. "Yeah."_

_Maybe he was just fantasizing. Maybe those feelings he had was unreal. She will be okay, though he was unsure of that, he convinced himself just to simply made him feel a little bit calmer._

"_You'll see her again tomorrow. Don't worry too much," teased Leorio. But Killua did not even notice that he was teasing him._

Yeah, I hope so_, thought Killua to himself._There's nothing to worry about.

:: ::

_Kim exited the hotel building and walked along with several people on the pavement, back to her own hotel. She noticed that there were not many people in the street as usual. It was 6.30 PM. Usually during this time, loads of people from work walk their way home on that area. She questioned that in her mind, but kept walking anyway._

_As she encountered the intersection, she turned to left and crossed the street. She walked again on the pavement. Now she was half way to her hotel. She had to cross an alley to cut through the way there. It was always dark, whether it was day or night, it also had a bad smell. She hated to get there, she always avoided getting there as best as she can, but since it was getting late and she could not bear the cold weather, she had no choice._

_When she finally reached the alley, she walked into it. On the halfway on crossing it, she saw two men stood at almost the end of the alley and a girl, probably a little older than her. Her way was blocked by them, leaving no way to escape. Kim hide herself behind a pillar that happened to be near her. It was wide enough to prevent her entire body to be seen by those men. She watched as one of the men tried to take the girl's bag, but the girl struggled as best as she can to protect it._

"_Come on, sweet girl. Just play nice and give us your bag. We won't hurt you." Kim heard one of the men said. He was bald and had this scary look. His voice was raspy and heavy, and his tone sounded drunk. It was scary to encounter two drunk man at the same time who were trying to get your bag. She imagined herself at the girl's state, which brought herself shuddered at the latter._

"_No!" the girl shrieked. She pulled her bag from the man's grip and held it tightly._

_The bald man raised an eyebrow. "Still refused, huh?" He faced the man behind him, who was wearing an earring on his left ear, and gestured the girl with his head. "Do it."_

_Kim's eyes widened in horror as she saw the man pulled out a gun from his jacket. Mercilessly and without hesitation, the man shot the girl right on her head. It all happened so fast, in a blink of an eye. The now dead girl fell lifelessly to the ground._

_The bald man laughed evilishly at the corpse. "That's for not listening to me." He took her bag and swung it behind his shoulder._

_Without her realization, Kim shrieked in horror as she watched the pool of blood from her head which surrounding her body now on the ground. Her loud noise made the men looked at her direction and approached her._

This is bad, _she thought. _Really bad.

_She ran from her place immediately. Her presence was now uncovered to them and it made her scared to think that she might experience the same thing as that girl. She heard the men's footstep getting closer and closer and was ready to grab her anytime soon. Despite the cold weather, sweat dropped from her face._

_She ran and ran until she almost reached the end of the alley which she passed when she first entered this alley. Suddenly, she felt her shoulder grabbed harshly and she was thrown to the side. Her back aching as it hit the sturdy wall. She stood up carefully and watched as the two men blocking her way out._

No, I don't want to die yet, _she thought._

"_O-oh, it seems that someone saw our little action, didn't you sweety?" the bald man spoke and smile evilishly at her._

_The girl smelled a strong scent of alcohol from his mouth which made her shuddered._

I should've not screamed, I should've ran earlier, I should've not entered this alley, I should've let Killua walked me home, I should have…

_Tears suddenly dropped from one of her eyes. She did not bother to wipe it away. There was no point in doing it right now. Currently, her life is in danger. It made her sick to remember how many wrong actions she did earlier. If only she could turned back time, if only…_

"_Now, now, what should we do to you?" said the bald man, more to himself. He frowned, pretending to think hard. "It would be dangerous to let you go. I know what to do. Gunner," he called the man with the gun. The bald man whispered something to him and Gunner nodded._

Oh, no… My life will soon be end. This is the end.

_The bald man faced Kim again. He grinned. "I'm sorry, I know you're pretty but you should end up like that girl," he gestured to his back. As he said that, Gunner pointed his gun against her head. She shut her eyes tightly. The last thing she saw was Killua, inside her mind. She wanted to spend more time with him, she wanted to be his best friend a little longer, she wanted to tell him how grateful she was to had a best friend like him . Before she could think about anything else, she heard a loud noise and everything was over._

:: ::

_Killua walked on the pavement with his hands tucked into his pocket. His anxious feeling earlier had gotten over him and now he was on his way to Kim's hotel to simply make sure she was alright. He was walking past a dark alley when he caught something familiar to his eyes. A brown hair. He stepped backward slowly and turned to enter the alley._

_He could not believe his eyes. He could never believe it. Not in a million years. What he saw now was Kim's body lied lifelessly on the ground. Bloods were everywhere around her body. Suddenly, a great anger raged within him. He went to punch the nearest wall beside him with a great effort until it damaged severely. He felt stupid for not following Kim earlier. He should have walked her anyway even though she refused. Now it was all too late. Nothing he could do now to take her back._

_Stressfully, he threw his back against the wall, sliding it downward until he finally sat on the ground, beside Kim's body. He buried his face in his arms and pulled his silver hair in stress. He did not recall ever been so angry before. It was the worst day in his life. He never imagined that day would come so fast; the day when he lose someone important in his life._

:: ::

Killua sighed heavily as his flashbacks was over. It was, indeed, the worst nightmare he ever experienced and he sure as hell had no intention on seeing or experiencing something like that again. He could not describe his feelings back then when he saw Kim's body lying lifelessly on the ground. It was too much to take in; seeing her body on the ground with bloods everywhere, seeing that her life had been taken out of her body, and at the same time, losing a best friend and someone he cared the most.

He remembered that he had search for the murderer who had taken his best friend's life. But although he, along with Gon, Leorio and Kurapika had search for days, weeks even, they did not find a single clue of his whereabouts. They had included the police in this, but they had found nothing during their investigation. But they promised to get this done.

For days, he remembered for being _very _silent. He only talked when asked, when necessary. He was unable to think clearly. His feelings were chaotic. _He _was a mess. Now, it was already past 3 weeks since her death, yet he still unable to get into his old self. He needed time. He came back to his house, hoping his jobs would get his mind and feelings distracted from all of this nightmares.

* * *

**A/N: **Phew, finally here it is! Leave your thoughts in a review please :D Oh yeah, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, alerted and favorited. Thank you so much! It means a lot to me! I wouldn't continue this story if you guys didn't...

KuralliuxLeogon: Thank you so much for the review! Sorry if you found mistakes here and there, I'm still learning ^_^ I never actually thought about being a real writer because I'd like to be a designer in the future, but thank you anyway!~


	5. Unexpected Encounter

**A/N: **I'm so so sorry to keep you guys waiting for a long time. I have three reasons: One, since school has started (which is sucks), I was kinda busy with homework. Two, I have some personal issues which was bugging my time to write this chapter. Three, I kinda lost my inspiration. It was kinda hard for me to write this chapter because my mind went blank when I was writing this chapter, like I had no idea what's going to happen in my own story, and it was... stressing. Well, although I can't say that this chapter is the best of all, it's the best I can do for now. I'm sorry if this chapter doesn't meet your expectations, but, I hope you guys could still enjoy it :)

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Unexpected Encounter**

Killua opened his eyes to find himself slept after he had his flashbacks. It was already morning when he woke up. He can tell that by seeing the sunlight that coming through his bedroom window, which was not completely covered by the blue curtain that hung up from above it. He got up and sit on his bed. He stared blankly at the dark wall of his room. Today might be the day he will back to his old job as an assassin; killing people. Although he hated the fact that he had to do all of those stuff again, at the same time, he felt a little bit of happiness. He was happy because he could finally do something that could probably distract his mind and feelings which had haunted him for the past 3 weeks. But other than that, he found no other reason to be happy.

The assassin got up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, he was already finished with his bath and ready to face the day. He exited his bedroom and went to his father's room. Not long before that, his Grandfather, Zeno, told him to meet his father in his room to get a quick brief regarding the job he would soon do.

As soon as he reached the big door, he knocked it first. After he heard his father's voice from the inside, he opened the door and proceeded inside. Nothing changed from the last time he came there. Of course, it would be strange to see things changed in a room in just a single night. His father, as always, sat on the large couch, eyeing him sharply with his blue eyes which resembled his. But somehow, he could feel pride in that sharp gaze.

_He must really thought that I'm back to be an assassin again. Never thought I could deceive him as easy as that. _

Killua, already knew his place, went straight to sit on the small chair in front of his father. Silva gave his son a brown envelope which contained informations regarding the target. The boy received it and eyeing it silently. It had been a long time since the last time he received that kind of envelope. He was now feeling guilty for unknown reason. He never recalled being as guilty as he was now. With guiltiness still filling him, he opened the envelope carefully and took out pieces of paper from inside it.

"Your client this time is a well-known millionaire, Mr. Tadashi Fukuzawa, " Silva explained. "He wishes to have a certain person died, because he was responsible for the murder of his parents two years ago. And the name of the target is-"

"Kenichi Hiroshi," Killua cut his words as he read the paper carefully. "Isn't he was _your _client two years ago?"

Silva went silent for a moment. "Yes, indeed. But as you may know, we took orders from any client without looking at who is the target or what happened in the past. I assume you still remember that, don't you?" The muscular man leaned in closer and looked at his son sharply.

Uneasy with his father's sharp gaze, Killua looked away at another direction and mouthed a small, "Yes."

"Good," replied Silva as he straightened his back again. "Further information can be seen on the paper I gave to you. Now, prepare yourself. You will depart in thirty minutes with a reserved car. I'm expecting you to come back with an excellent result, just like you used to. I have high expectation on you as always, Kil."

Feeling his father had gave him another burden to bear with, he sighed inaudibly and put back the paper into the envelope. "I'll do my best."

Killua got up from the chair and went out of the room. Just when he finally outside the room, he let out a sigh. "Everyone in this family have high expectation on me, especially _him,_" said Killua to himself, referring to his father. "Do they really think I want to be an assassin forever? " After sighed for the second time, he started walking in the dark corridor while holding the brown envelope on his right hand and the other hand on his pocket.

_But at least I could distract my mind from _her_, _Killua added to himself.

:: ::

Killua was now standing in front of his target's house; a big and fancy mansion which was not far from the city. He was holding the paper which his father gave him, observing his target's face through his photos. His target was supposed to be Kenichi Hiroshi only, but after he had a conversation with his client through the phone a while ago, the millionaire ordered him to kill both his wife and daughter as well as it will only leave much trouble to let them live once Kenichi died. He was concerned that if they were not killed, they will probably suspect him as the one who was responsible for Kenichi's death. However, Killua did not know the face of Kenichi's wife and daughter, since his client, Mr. Tadashi, gave that order just now and did not put their photos on the paper that was given to him. That means, he should guess by himself. After he finished observing, he folded the paper and placed it inside his pocket.

As he was eyeing the building, he noticed that the front doors was opened and two tall men wearing suits were seen exiting the mansion. He immediately jumped to the nearest tree and sat on its branch, hiding his presence. He watched as the two men walked their way through the large front yard and leaving the mansion with a black car that was parked not far from the front gate. None of them resembled the face of his target, making him wondered who were they.

The assassin was curious with the two men, though he tried to ignore them like he always did. Back then, he was not the type of person who gets curious easily, and always do what he was told to do. But now that he changed, or more precisely was not his old self, he had to adjust himself with the old situations and tried to act like he used to.

After he made sure that no one was watching him, he jumped down from the tree and ran to the mansion's backyard. He noticed that the backyard was huge, with fountain placed in the middle of a well-treated garden and flowers and trees were everywhere in it. The pIants were also well-treated and, though he did not want to admit it, looked beautiful.

Killua looked up at the building. He spotted a window which was opened at the second floor. Without thinking any further, he climbed his way to reach the window. As soon as he reached it, he jumped through it and later found himself in a large room, which was most likely Kenichi's office, since he saw tall bookshelves on one side of the rooms filled with many kinds of books and a table in front of him with an advanced looking, flat-screen computer on it. The room was well-design, with carpeted floors and walls that were all covered by wallpapers. The lighting in there was excellent, as Killua had to covered his eyes with his arm because of the brightness when he first entered the room. There was a big chandelier hanging in the middle of the room, a table lamp on the table, beside the computer, two wall lamps at each side of the door and a standing lamp at the corner of the room. _All _of them were turned on at the same time, making the room looked very flashy despite the fact that it was still morning.

Suddenly, the door across the room opened and a man, probably in his late fifties, wearing a white shirt with the sleeves folded and gray pants, entered the room. His face looked tired and depressed. He immediately spotted Killua who was standing across the room. As soon as Killua saw his face, he instantly recognized him as Kenichi Hiroshi, or no other than his target.

Kenichi's eyes widened as he saw Killua. "Who are you? What are you doing here and how did you get in?"

Killua, already got this kind of reaction a thousand times back then, remained silent. Suddenly, old sensation came back to him. He felt thrilled with the thought of doing something he had not done in a long time; killing. He switched back to his old self, ruthless and bloodthirsty. He smiled evilishly at his target, whose then killed by his hands in just a matter of seconds.

Soon after that, the assassin suddenly turned back to his current self; the one who had changed. He looked at both his hands which was now covered with bloods, and turned to look at the corpse that was lying on the floor lifelessly, making him realized that he had killed his target. It felt weird to experience it all over again, especially after a year of hiatus. Although killing people was not a new thing for him, his current self telling him that what he was doing now was wrong. Ignoring all the guilty feelings inside him, he exited the room to find his other targets.

He entered the hallway, which had marble floors and walls also covered by wallpapers, and walked through it until he stood in front of a double-door, which was very likely the way in to the master bedroom. He opened it, hoping to find a woman who was likely Kenichi's wife. Much to his disappointment, he saw no one in there, but suddenly he heard a woman's voice singing in the other side of the room. He stepped in the huge bedroom and made his way to the dressing room.

Killua saw a woman there, probably in her late fourties who had shoulder-length, brown hair and wearing a white bath robe. The woman sat by the dressing table, facing the mirror. She was combing her hair while singing a song which sounded foreign in Killua's ears. She jerked up as soon as she saw through her mirror that a boy was standing in her dressing room, looking at her blankly.

The woman turned her body to face Killua who was standing behind her. "Who are you kid?"

Killua ignored the question and approached the woman. She immediately stood up and stepped back to keep a distance between her and the boy.

"What are you up to?" she asked in a trembling voice, looking at the boy who was still approaching her. Her brown eyes widened in shock as she realized that his hands, face and shirt were covered with blood.

"What did you do?" the woman asked again with the same trembling voice.

Without answering any of her questions, Killua changed his fingernails into claws as his distance with the woman getting closer until they were only a feet away. The last thing he heard was the loud scream of the woman.

:: ::

Killua exited the master bedroom and was back at the hallway. Now, he had to find his third target; Kenichi's daughter. He walked through the hallway again, looking for any sign that indicated the daughter's bedroom. He opened every doors he passed, hoping to see a room which decorated in pink or so (at least that was the only thought that crossed his mind about girl's bedroom) and a girl in it, but to no avail. He kept walking until he reached the end of the hallway. He spotted a door on the left side of the wall. His mind immediately telling him that it was the room he was searching.

The assassin opened the door and entered the room. Much to his surprise, the room was not decorated in pink, but it was all white. His eyes then fixed at a girl who was sitting on the creamy carpeted floors with her back facing him. He noticed that the girl was playing laptop, but then he saw her switching it off. As soon as the laptop's screen turned off, the girl jerked up when she saw Killua's reflection through it, standing near her bedroom's door.

She turned her head to face him and Killua froze.

_Those blue eyes… It couldn't be…_

After speechless for a moment, he opened his mouth and he managed to utter a word, "Kim?"


	6. Unfathomable Faith

**Chapter 5**

**Unfathomable Faith **

"Kim?"

Killua eyed the girl carefully and almost could not believe what he saw right now. A girl, probably a little younger than him, with long, wavy, blond hair, white skin and beautiful, big, blue eyes. Her face was spotless, bright and her skin looked soft. She was wearing a plum, long-sleeved shirt and jeans shorts. Sure she had a different hair style and color than Kim's, but she had the same feature as her and those blue eyes covered all the differences between them. How could he possibly forget the color of his own eyes?

The girl whom resembled Kim gave him a questioning look. She looked flustered, yet scared at the same time. Killua noticed that her hands were shaking. She opened her mouth to reply.

"K—Kim?" she repeated. "I'm n—not Kim."

Instantly, Killua's hope which was high above the sky fell and crashed on earth. Even though he saw Kim's death with his own eyes and had accepted the fact the she was no longer in this world, he still had high hopes on her. He knew well that it was impossible to see her there safe and sound, but he thought that there was no harm in expecting. But then, realizing she was not the one he was looking for, he felt disappointed. In the end, he could only muttered a word. "Oh…"

Both were silent for a moment. On one side, the boy's mind were full of questions and he was desperate for answers. Deciding to prevent his brain from exploding by those questions, he started to ask. "If you're not Kim, then who are you?"

"M—my name's Maylene," she answered with a—still—trembling voice. Killua was still eyeing her, making her turned her gaze away from him.

_Maylene… That name rings a bell in my mind… _

Killua shook his head slowly and pushed away the thought. His job was his number one priority right now. Besides, if she was not Kim then he had nothing to do with her. He decided to finish his job quickly so that he can go home and rest immediately. He took a few steps towards her. Maylene slowly scooted backwards as soon as Killua got closer and closer. Much to her horror, the assassin's fingernails turned into sharp claws, much like an animal's. She bet that thing could easily tore her skin. She scooted faster until her back met the wallpapered wall of her room, leaving her no other way to escape nor hide. They were only a few inches away. Another step he take, Maylene could tell that her death was a certainty.

The assassin took another step. Maylene held her knees tightly while her body was still shaking with fear. She burried her head and closed her eyes in hope that she could awake from the nightmare she currently had. But when she tilted her head up and opened her eyes again, what she saw was the same nightmare; a boy who was about her age or older trying to kill her with a sharp claw. Realizing the situation she was in, she felt frightened even more. Without any warning, tears started filling her blue eyes and soon they fell to her knees.

Killua extended his arm, ready to get the girl, but was forze mid-air as soon as he saw her crying. Her face was red and eyes full of tears. Normally, he was not the kind of guy whose heart easy to be moved, but her Kim-look-alike feature had got his heart shattered into pieces and soon, gultiness had taken over him.

_I can't do this… Hurting her would make me feel guilty for the rest of my life. _

Meeting the dead-end, Killua decided that the best choice for him was to retreat. He lowered his arm, turned his back and went away from her. Seeing this, Maylene stopped crying . All of her fear had gone in an instant. Now it all replaced by curiosity. _Why did he stop? What made him stopped? Why did he look sad? Does my cry made him moved? _

Unable to hold back anymore, Maylene dared to ask. "Why did you stop?"

Her question made his movement stopped. He turned his head and looked at her sharply.

_Maybe I was wrong… He wasn't moved. _

"You should be thankful," he replied coldly. "I spared your life."

Maylene shook her head slowly at his response. "It's not that I'm not thankful. It's just confusing."

"Is that matter so much to you? What's important now is that you have a chance to live longer. As I said before, be thankful for that."

"Does it have anything with this Kim you mentioned earlier?" she dared to push him.

The girl's question made Killua widened his eyes in surprise. It hit him right on the spot. It was a perfect guess, as he might say.

Unhappy with the absence of reply, Maylene continued. "You've mistaken me as her."

"It's none of your business," he replied with an icy tone.

She frowned at the answer, feeling offended by his cold manners. "I was going to say that I know someone by the name Kim you know."

For the second time, Killua widened his eyes. There was no way he would let this opportunity slip away. Trying not to sound so cold this time, he asked. "Are you sure she's the Kim I know?"

"If you mean Kimberly Hammers, then I would say I'm one hundred percent sure."

Killua froze at the mention of Kim's name. There was no doubt. Maylene was right. "And who are you to her?"

"I'm Maylene Hammers. May for short. Kimberly or whom you called Kim is my older sister," Maylene explained.

Then it all became clear for Killua. That would explain why they shared the same eye color. That would also explain the similiarties between the two. That would also explain why the name Maylene rang a bell in his mind, because he remembered that Kim once told him about her as her younger sister. A thought suddenly came through to his mind; there is a big possibility that May did not know about Kim's death, let alone her whereabouts.

He then asked a question to test her. "Do you know—"

His word was cut by the loud sound of sirene outside of the mansion. He instantly recognized it and cursed himself for forgetting all of the other things beside this. He walked towards the window to see if his guess was right. As soon as he spotted three black and white cars with red sirene atop of it, he knew he was right.

"Shit," he muttered. He turned his head and his gaze fixed on the girl who was still on the carpeted floor. He still had to clear things with her. There will be no other chance. It was now or never.

"You," Killua pointed at May and walked towards her. "Are coming with me." He grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand up and led her to the window.

"Police?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow as she saw several cops went out of their cars with guns in hands.

"Uh… Yeah…" Killua looked perpexled. "No time to explain. We need to go."

May felt her wrist being pulled and she was dragged again by the boy. She pulled it back as soon as she realized something. "What about my family? They'd be worried."

Killua cursed himself inaudibly. May totally had no idea of her family's death. The death which was caused by his own hands. But then, he realized something. Why does Kim and May had different surname with Kenichi Hiroshi? A new question just grew inside of his mind, waiting to be answered. But it needed to wait a little longer before it gets what it wants, because first thing first he needed to get himself and this girl in front of him out of the mansion before the cops could spot them.

"They won't. Trust me."

He knew his words were not convincing, but that was all he need to make the girl silent and followed him. He was secretly wondering why she would follow a total stranger who was trying to kill him just a moment ago, but instead of asking, he stuffed his question into his brain to be answered later.

Inside her mind, May was also wondering why she would do what he said and following him like a lost puppy. It is true that he was trying to take her life out of her earlier, but after she saw him backed down and showed an interest at her older sister, she did not see him as a bad guy anymore. Although she must admit that he was being a total jerk, she could tell that they might get a chance of being friends.

"Hold on tight," he said to her as they stood facing the—now—opened window.

May looked at him quzzically. "Hold on what?"

Instead of hearing an answer, the assassin bent down slightly and circled his arms around her thigh. The next thing she knew, she was lifted upward to the boy's back and soon she realized that she was being carried by him. She saw him looked down at the ground below them through the window and placed his feet on the window's border.

_Wait. Is he going to…_

"Oh God… You've gotta be kidding me." May followed his gaze to the ground. It was high enough considdering they were standing on the second floor of the mansion.

"Do you think this is the time to be joking around?" Killua retorted rather coldly, back to his previous manners. He turned his head to face the girl behind him, making her silent for a moment.

"Well… No. But we could be dead if we fall from this height!" she shrieked, warning him that she did not want to waste her second chance to live which he gave earlier.

"We're not _falling, _we're _jumping._ And believe me, no one will get hurt."

Trying her best to believe him, she tightened her grip on her wrist which circled his neck. As soon as Killua jumped, she closed her eyes and held the urge to scream out loud. But exactly as what Killua said, they did not land on the ground harshly, falling and rolling over, instead, they landed smoothly. Killua's movement did not stop there, he started running to the backyard to find a way out. May suddenly remembered that there was tall guard rail at the end of the lot and warned him about this.

"How tall is it?" asked Killua calmly.

"Um… About six feet I think."

Killua snorted at the response, making his image in May's mind got even worse. She strongly doubt that he could pass the rail, but once again, he had proven that she was wrong. Much to May's surprise, he jumped through the gate easily despite it being far higher than his own height. She had to admit that his abilities were amazing, though she won't admit it in front if his face due to his jerky attitude earlier.

May felt her hair flying as the wind gushed from the opposite direction. The sun was not absent and it shone brightly above their heads. The light felt warm on May's skin. Being out of the house felt very refreshing for her as she spent most of her time inside it due to her family's overprotective attitude.

As soon as Killua spotted a big tree, he slowered his pace and stopped as they reached it. He let the girl behind him to get down before he faced her to ask his questions which he had burry for a couple of minutes.

He opened his mouth and was about to say something when May held her hand out in front of him, telling him to stop.

"Before you ask another question, I want to know your name," she said and put her hand down again.

Killua raised an eyebrow at her. "Does it matter so much to you?"

"Not really. But I was just wondering how could I call you if I don't know your name." She smiled at him, making him froze for a moment.

_That smile… I miss it so much. _

"Killua," he replied shortly.

May looked at him thoughtfully. "Killua, huh? I think I've heard that name before…"

"You may know me as Killua Zoldyck," he said without thinking. He had forgotten that as an assassin he should not give away his personal information to anyone. But it was too late. May already heard him as he saw her blue eyes widened in shock. But then he thought, there was no harm in telling her that little piece of information.

"Z—Zoldyck? You're a—a Zoldyck?" she pointed at him in disbelief.

Killua sighed and looked away. "Yes."

May took a step back and placed both hands over her chest. "I—I can't believe I actually met a Zoldyck…. I… T—thank you for sparing my life. I doubt anyone would survive after meeting a Zoldyck…"

The assassin shook his head slowly and chuckled bitterly, but his gaze was still away from her. "I can't bring myself to kill you."

May's eyebrow twitched in confusion. "B—But why?"

"You're so much like _her_," Killua muttered to himself, but May was able to catch what he said.

"_Her?_ You mean Kim?"

Killua did not reply. He just stared at her blankly, but it was enough of a confirmation to May.

"So you know her." May nodded, understanding the situation. Suddenly, a thought came to her mind. She clicked her fingers enthusiastically. "You must be know where she is! Right?"

He was silent for a moment, then nodded slowly.

"So where is she? Tell me!" she pulled his arm, begging him to tell her the wherebouts about her older sister whom she missed so much.

_So she really have no idea… _Killua thought.

"Before that, tell me first," he replied. "When was the last time you meet her?"

May seemed thinking for a moment. "About three months ago, I think. I haven't met her for such a long time! I really miss her, so please tell me."

Looking at the girl before him pleading with gleamy eyes which held high expectations and hopes in it, Killua found himself unable to deliver the sad news. He felt that he had given her a false hope. It would crashed her heart and will eventually crashed his own heart too. Seeing her hurt was no more than seeing Kim hurt. And he hated to see it.

Finally, he decided that now was not the best time to tell her. "She's… unreachable. You can't meet her right now."

She twitched her eyebrows. "What do you mean by unreachable?"

"She's far. You might see her someday, but not now."

"Oh…" Instantly May's grip on his arm loosened and she put her hands down. Her eyes were not gleamy anymore. All of the hopes and expectations that were seen before was gone. Although it was better than seeing her hurt and crying, but he still felt terrible. He knew he should have told her and he knew he couldn't possibly hide the truth from her forever, but he was not ready. Not yet. Someday he will. _Someday. _

" Can I ask you something again?" May suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Why there were cops back at my house?"

Instantly, Killua froze. He did not know what to say, he did not know how to answer. He was well aware that sooner or later she will figure out that he killed her parents, but telling her straight away to her face is another story. He was burdened with two big burdens on his shoulders, the first was to tell her about Kim's death and the second was to tell her that he killed her parents. And he had no idea which one is the worst.

_Oh God… Help me._

* * *

**A/N: **Here I give you chapter 5. I don't know whether it was good or not, but I only hope it looks plausible. This chapter really took a long time, because I had to rewrite it since the original one wasn't really good. I hope this improvement seems good enough for you :) Reviews and suggestions are greatly appreciated!


	7. Author's Note

**Author's Note **

Hey everyone. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but there will be no new chapter for the next few months because I will be on a hiatus. Well, I've got a good reason for that; the national exam is coming soon. And I mean _really _soon. I will try to study hard because this exam will decide whether or not I will graduate from school. And I'm not just aiming to pass the exam, but I also want to get a good grades so that I can continue my study to the high school I want. For that, I'm very sorry to leave the story hanging like that for such a long time. I promise I will return once I finished and I will also make sure that I write one long chapter to make up for the gap. Lastly, I thank everyone who has supported this story from the very first time it was published until now. You guys are awesome. I just hope that you guys don't mind to wait for some time.

Sheeba Scarlet

PS. Sorry for those who expected to get a new chapter with the "story" inside it. Turns out it was just a note from me.


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